Witchcraft Wizardry Entertainment
by DashingJetBlack
Summary: Fantasy spin off from Total Superstars. What happens when 3 WWE Superstars buy toy wands from Harry Potter World in Orlando and they turn out to be real and now have the ability to cast spells? That's what happens to Finn Balor, Sami Zayn and Cody Rhodes AKA Stardust. WWE/Harry Potter Crossover, mild slash, some swearing (hence M rating), comedy, fluff. May become a series.
**Witchcraft And Wizardry Entertainment**

 _ **Yeah, so I should be working on Chapter 5 of Total Superstars but this wee plot bunny won't leave me alone. This isn't my usual one-shot, it's smut-free but the M rating is for occasional F-bombs and some sex references to keep FF happy!**_

 _ **Been watching all the HP films recently as my BF visited HP World in Leavesden and as a result the franchise is back in my life. After all, I am firmly part of the Harry Potter generation - those born late 80s-early 90s, who went to secondary school in the 2000s.**_

 _ **My first cross-over (of sorts) fic. Just fancied doing something lightly comedic that wasn't based solely on gay smut and gay drama!**_

 _ **Slash pairings stated but as I said, no smut. May be kissing. Set in the Total Superstars universe, around May 2016, so pairings featured or mentioned are:**_

 _Cody Rhodes(Stardust)/Sami Zayn_

 _Finn Balor/Karl Anderson_

 _Paige/Summer Rae_

 _Cesaro/Sheamus_

 _Miz/Maryse (I know, het not slash!)_

 _ **NOTE: I have never been to HP World in Orlando so apologies if the opening sequence is totally inaccurate!**_

 _ **DISCLAIMER: All Harry Potter mentions, spells, and suchlike are property of Warner Brothers and copyrighted to the legend that is JK Rowling and are only used here for entertainment. All characters are property of WWE.**_

* * *

 **Harry Potter World, Universal Studios, Orlando, FL, May 2016**

"This place never gets old," Cody Rhodes sighed, as he pushed open the wooden door of the Harry Potter world gift shop. Much as he enjoyed the rides and exhibits, the best part of visiting this place, was the gift shop. Much of his wrestling paychecks were spent here.

"I just can't believe it's taken me this long to visit," Finn Balor said, making a beeline for the Lego sets.

"Fergal you just needed an excuse to buy more Lego," Sami Zayn smirked, before wrapping his arms around Cody, who was browsing the replica wands, "Haven't you got the full set yet, babe?"

"No. Because Brandi puts a cap on how much I can spend here," Cody pouted, "And also Pharoah mistakes expensive accurate replica wands for sticks. He even tried to chew my lightsaber last week."

"Mmm," Sami was too busy nuzzling the ravenette's neck and inhaling his cologne.

"Rami.." giggled Cody, "Fans may be around...plus we agreed no PDAs in front of Finny."

Their visit was only marred by having to stop every five minutes to pose with fans. Being in Orlando AKA NXT City, this was only to be expected.

"Fergal's got Lego bricks in his eyes right now," Sami whispered.

"Shame Anderson couldn't make it," Cody replied, "Would have been a PERF double date."

"Not really his thing," Sami said, "Damn babe, those shorts do not hide your ass."

"Sami..." Cody wriggled free, "There's kids coming in."

"Sorry," Sami blushed.

"Pick a wand," Cody said, "I'll buy one for you."

"Eden won't be happy," Sami teased.

"She's not here. My credit card," Cody said, "Choose. I insist. Pick any character you like, I won't judge."

"Well..." Sami said, "Tough call...hmmmm...Lucius Malfoy perhaps...hmmm actually...it seems appropiate..."

He picked one up.

"Ginny Weasley's?" Cody smirked.

"I would have gone for Ron but a) Ginny is better looking, and b) she's a boss from book 5 onwards," Sami smiled, "Plus she gets Harry's D."

"SAMI. Do not besmirch this wonderful franchise," scowled Cody.

"Babe. You have Harry/Ron slash on your FanFiction dot net account," clapped back Sami, "Very hot slash I hasten to add."

"Actually," Cody replied, "I currently am writing a Harry/Krum one shot. Crack ships are where it's at these days. And I rewatched Goblet Of Fire on the flight from Texas and all I can say is. Woof. Krum was hot. I bet he was hung like a donkey!"

"Now who's besmirching?!" giggled Sami, "Oh heeeyyyy Fergal, how many sets!?"

Finn had arms full of Lego and was beaming like a hyped-up child. THIS PLACE ROCKED. He had enough sets to keep him busy well into the summer months!

"Every one they offer!" he gushed, "Ooh you buying wands?"

"Yup," Cody said, picking up a replica of Harry's, "Pharoah has broken three of my Harry wands. Finny. My treat for feeling like Miss Third Wheel today - choose a wand and I'll buy."

"Wow, has wifey given you free reign with the cash?" grinned Finn, "Hmmmm...sadly Seamus Finnigan's wand is never specified...so I'll go with so, hey, Diggory's."

"Well, Fergal's fave was Seamus Finnigan, quelle-surprise," snarked Sami.

"Us Irish stick together," Finn clapped back, "But hey, I'll take Edward Cullen. Say what you like boys but I know neither of you would turn down R-Pattz."

"I think I would," Sami retorted.

"Well we're gonna go browse the Honeydukes candy and then we'll meet you outside?" Cody said, "Finny. Pass me that wand. I'm paying for it, I insist."

"Coddles...it's fine sweets," Finn was flushing a little.

"No, they're pricey and I said I'd treat you," Cody said.

"You're already buying lunch," Finn replied.

"Give it here," Cody snapped his fingers.

"OK fine. Not a charity case," Finn pouted and he went to go pay for his Lego.

* * *

Once the three boys were armed to the hilt with overpriced Harry Potter merchandise, they met up in the parking lot after all agreeing that the on-site café was barely-legal extortion.

"Let's find a barbecue dive," Sami said.

"You won't find a halal barbecue in Orlando," Finn said.

"I can overlook and anyhoo, there's brisket," Sami replied, "Don';t worry. Man it's so humid."

"Then take your shirt off," Finn teased, reaching for his car keys.

Cody was unboxing his wand and admiring the workmanship of the crafted holly. All wands were made from the correct woods as descibed within the books and Pottermore. In a way, their price tags were justified.

A cool breeze wafted over them at that point.

"Perv," Sami smirked, "Babe. My wand please."

"Yeah get Sami's wand out," chimed in Finn.

Cody side-eyed him before handing his boyfriend the ornate long oblong box. He handed Finn his as well.

Another light gust blew over them as Sami unboxed his.

"Getting cooler," Finn remarked, "I think you two should duel."

"I would whoop his ass," Cody said.

"What would be your signature spell?" asked Sami.

"Expelliarmus, obviously," Cody replied.

"Reducto, Ginny casts that like a boss," Sami said.

"Full body bind, so I can shut basics up," Finn finished, unwrapping his wand, made from beautifully carved ash.

Another gust of wind blew at that point, and Finn felt a jolt in his chest, just like you would when you see the person you had a crush on at school.

"Getting windy out," he remarked, fumbling in his pocket for his car keys.

"I'm still sweating like a glass-blower's ass," Sami said, "Oh come on Fergal, if we're going."

"Well at this point, we could cast Alohomora," Cody grinned, before tapping the passenger door jokingly, " _Alohomora_!"

The small blue car's indicators flashed and the central locking activated.

"Fergal you just butt-unlocked your car," smirked Sami as Finn fumbled some more and produced his car key.

"I didn't, how?" Finn raised an eyebrow, "I'm not sitting down and I didn't push the button!"

"Well your car just unlocked," Sami replied, "Unless you're telling me that Coddles just magically did it by casting a spell? Much as we love Harry Potter, magic doesn;t exist."

Cody tried the door. It opened.

He shrugged.

"I did not press the unlock button," Finn insisted, wide-eyed.

"So you're telling me Coddles just used the Alohomora charm and unlocked your car by magic?!" Sami snarked.

"Well, did anyone else feel something when they opened their wands?" Finn asked.

"Schluballybub?" Cody asked, "I thought it was cos Sami was bending over but then he wasn't...got a bit breezy but I thought it was just because of where we parked."

"The bubbly feeling in here?" Sami rubbed his stomach, "Yeah I got that."

All three boys exchanged a look.

What was happening here?

It couldn't be. No. They were three grown-ass men. They didn't believe in magic. Geeks they may well have been, but they all knew that Potter was just a fantasy, sad but true.

But why did Finn's MINI Cooper unlock itself? Manufacturing defect?

"I'm gonna try something," Cody said, brandishing his wand in a V-shaped movement, aiming at a nearby overflowing trash can, " _Reducto!"_

A jet of white light blasted from his wand and the trash can instantly dissolved into a pile of ash.

WHAT THE?!

Both Sami and FInn's jaws hit the ground.

Cody was speechless. He stared at what he thought was a piece of quality merchandise still in his hand. He'd just cast two spells.

"Yer a wizard, Cody," Finn growled in a terrible West Country accent.

"Looks like I am," Cody breathed, "One of you try...it can't only be me..."

Sami pulled his phone from his pocket. And then threw it hard at the asphalt. THe screen cracked instantly.

"What the hell did you do that for?!" Finn spluttered.

Sami pointed his wand at his broken phone.

" _Reparo_!" he rapped out.

With a clicking sound, the shattered screen returned to normal and flickered onto the unlock screen.

"Whoaa..." all three boys were astonished.

"Your turn Finny, it can't be two out of three, this is too weird," Cody said.

"Hmmm... _Accio_ NXT Title!" Finn drew a half-moon shape in the air with his.

The boys were frozen in anticipation over the next five minutes. Silent.

Disbelieving.

And then with a light whooshing sound, a black dot in the sky above them grew larger and larger before with a clunk, the NXT CHampionship belt fell, polished side up, onto the asphalt at Finn's feet.

"Oh my God.." Cody hissed.

"This is AWESOME!" Sami squeaked.

"I hope Joe wasn't holding it at the time," Finn giggled, "That could be awkward!"

"Imagine if he was doing a podcast or interview!" chortled Sami.

"We have to tell Paige and Becky and Brandi and everyone like RIGHT NOW!" Cody squealed excitedly.

"Better than that, get your wallet out and go buy them wands! Arm the squad!" Sami said, "Fergal you should totally get one for Bayley. And babe...if you don't buy Saraya Bellatrix's wand I'm gonna be disappointed in you."

"Be back in ten," Cody said, making his way back towards the Studios.

"Why walk?" Finn raised his eyebrow, "We're wizards now, apparently."

"I am not Apparating," Cody pouted, "If I splinch myself, how am I going to explain that to Vince?"

Finn broke a branch off a nearby tree.

" _Portus_!" he said, pointing his wand at it.

"If you've made a Portkey I am eating my hat!" Sami said, "Maybe the wands are rigged with a trick spell or something."

The branch glowed silver for a second.

"Really?" Finn snarked.

"Sami...just enjoy the moment!" Cody said, touching the branch. With a cry of shock, he seemed to be sucked into it before both he and it were gone.

Sami and Finn were gobsmacked. WOW.

This was going to change pro wrestling history...potentially!

"Where did you send him?" asked Sami.

"The shop. Saves walking," Finn shrugged.

"In that case," Sami said, "I am going to test something out. Remember in Sorcerer's Stone when Ron tries to turn his rat yellow?"

"Yeah.,...surprise me?" Finn said.

" _Sunshine, daisies, butter mellow, turn this gay-ass blue car yellow_!" Sami said, pointing his wand at Finn's car.

A light flash and Finn's blue MINI faded...the paint was actually, and rapidly, changing colour before their eyes until finally it was a lurid banana shade.

"It actually worked! Obviously, Ron's wand was crap," Finn gasped, "You better change it back though, bitch."

"Yellow suits you Fergal," teased Sami.

A thud sounded nearby and the two former NXT Champions turned to see Cody ungracefully fallen on his back.

"Ow. I need to learn how to land," he said.

"How did you get back?" asked Sami.

"Turned a thrown-away ticket into a Portkey," Cody replied, before rubbing his ass where he'd fallen, "Ow. My ass hurts."

"Par for the course with you?" Finn grinned, "Notice anything?"

"Ron's dud spell from Book 1, worked," Sami said.

"Ew. The blue looked better," Cody said, "Brandi will kill me. I have bought us ALL Firebolts in addition to wands for the ladies. One Bellatrix wand left, it had Paige's name on it."

He was carrying two laden bags, and the ends of broomsticks were seen poking out of them.

"There's only 3," Finn said.

"The Amigos get to fly to arenas now," Cody grinned, "And, to ensure we use magic responsibly at work, I have bought 3 copies of The Standard Book Of Spells, Grade 1."

"They actually have replica books?" Sami asked.

"Yeah. I basically know the shop's inventory," Cody replied.

"Sami. Turn my car back to blue," pouted Finn.

"You two need to pay more attention to Rowling's work," Cody said, "Allow me. _FInite Incantatem_!"

The now-yellow MINI's paintwork slowly shifted through the spectrum until it returned to its original blue.

"DO that again Samuel," Finn pointed his wand at the redhead, "And you may get the Leg Locker Curse."

"You wouldn't hex me Fergal," Sami said.

"Try me!" clapped back Finn, before cutting the air with his wand, " _Locomotor Mortis_!"

A jet of purple shot out and instantly, Sami's legs sprung together.

"FERGAL!" he whined. He tried to pull his legs open but, no, true to form, they'd fused as one. He began to bunny hop stupidly around the car park as Finn and Cody howled with laughter.

Cody took his phone out and began to video it.

"PUT THAT DOWN!" Sami snapped, "I mean it, I'll break your phone!"

Finn was playing Sami's theme from his phone. Poor Sami just continued to hop around directionlessly. This was not comfortable. And they were just MEAN.

"OK, we've had our fun," Cody said, rummaging in his bag for one of the spell books. before flicking through it. Ahh...there it was. He cleared his throat and performed the counter-curse just as in the book.

Sami's legs flew apart.

"Ow. I hate you," he complained.

"Oh c'mon Sami, lighten up," Finn grinned, "You hopping to your theme gave me life."

"You expect to get away with that?" Sami had an evil grin going now, " _Rictusempra!"_

Silver light flew at Finn and he fell to the floor, wriggling and howling with laughter.

"Tickling Charm, Chamber Of Secrets," Sami reminded a confused Cody.

"S-s...omeone...help!" choked FInn, who was pretty ticklish, "P-please!"

Tears were rolling down his cheeks.

" _Finite Incantatem_ ," Cody declared.

"Cheers," Finn climbed to his feet, dusting himself down, "OK, I;m too excited to eat lunch right now. I want to go play with magic."

"Me too," Sami replied, "Your place?"

"Driving there seems so boring," Finn pouted.

"Let's not overdo it boys," Cody said, "Novelty will wear off by Raw."

"I'm gonna learn how to Apparate over the weekend," Finn said, "That way I can be there whenever I like."

"Give Karl some space, Fergal!" Sami said, "I think you should stick to Portkeys. No splinching."

"Imagine," Cody said, "Oh hey Triple H, yeah can't do the Main Event because my left leg is miles away at home."

"I'd do it for the look on his face," Finn said, opening the tailgate of his car. Cody placed his bags full of merch inside, pulling out one of the spell books.

"Shotgun!" Sami said.

"I'm gonna study spells in the back," Cody said, holding up the book.

"I can't believe this is happening," Finn said, starting the engine, "Wonder if hexing annoying fans is too out the question."

"Shame you can't get an Invisibility Cloak for the airport," Sami sighed.

"Sami. Tuck in to your hat," Finn teased as he started to drive out towards the exit.

"Huh? Oh yeah, I'm supposed to eat it aren't I? Cos I didn't think your portkey worked," Sami huffed, "Can I settle for buying lunch instead?"

"Matter settled," Finn replied. He looked in the rear view mirror. Cody was engrossed in the book. Firstly he was amazed at the level of detail in the fictional merchandise, and now, this would prove useful to help the road life become just that bit more fun.

* * *

 **Monday Night Raw, Omaha, NE**

Cody and Sami eagerly padded into Catering. The past weekend had been SO much fun, getting used to their new roles in life. Harry Potter Universe was real. They'd been playing with their wands (literally) all weekend. What a shame that they were too old to go to Hogwarts!

They'd managed to redecorate Sami's living room using magic after lengthy studying of Pottermore, the Harry Potter Wikia, Lego Harry Potter, the video games and the spell book. But now, bringing it to work for the first time was gonna be interesting to say the least. They'd agreed no wands on the plane and in the gym. They would try and keep to the usual normal ways of life for the most part but maybe jazz things up with a little magic every now and then.

Such as flying to the Smackdown tapings by broomstick tomorrow!

And sat at their corner table were Paige and Becky Lynch. No sign of Summer Rae. There had been a vast amount of talent cuts over the past few days, including, mercifully, Wade Barrett.

"Well well, look who it is," Sami teased, "Welcome back Saraya."

Paige looked elegant today in a maxi dress and floppy hat. Clearly she was turning more and more Bella by the week. She was already signed to a modelling agency (and some fans were turning on her for it.). But why shouldn't she? She was a beautiful girl.

He went to hug her.

"You're being unusually nice Samuel," she giggled, "What's the catch?"

"We have BIG news," Cody beamed, hugging her as well, "You are not gonna believe what we are about to tell you."

"Samuel's pregnant?" Paige grinned.

"Oh shut up Saraya," Sami sassed.

"And back to normal," chimed in Becky, shuffling up one to allow the boys to sit.

"Damn...we forgot the water," Sami said, getting up.

"Stay," Cody said, "Perfect time."

The girls raised their eyebrows. OK. They were being weird, even for them.

"How was Harry Potter world?" asked Becky.

"A-mazing," Sami gushed, "In many, many ways."

"Oh yeah," Cody grinned, "Got a present for each of you."

"Did you get me some Every Flavour Beans?" asked Becky.

"Yeah, have I ever let you down?" Cody said, reaching under the table for the carrier bag and handing them to her.

"Where's my present?" pouted Paige.

"Before I give it you," Cody said, "We have something to tell you. Pass that empty water jug."

"You will not believe this, honestly," Sami said, "Take it away babe."

Cody fished out his wand.

"Oh dear, how many toy wands does one 30 year old need?" giggled Paige, "Eden is a saint."

"Shut it Saraya and watch," snapped Sami.

"Samuel's time of the month," Paige replied.

" _Aguamenti_!" Cody declared.

And to the girls disbelief, water poured from the wand's tip into the jug.

"WHAT THE...?!" gasped Becky.

"Where's it coming from? I see no bottles...okay Cody you can stop now...ha ha, you can do magic...you got me..."

Once the jug was full, Cody moved his wand upright.

The girls gave a slow clap.

"Elaborate prank," Becky said, "Admire the effort."

"You think it's a trick don't you?" Sami demanded.

"Yeah. Dunno how you rigged that but yeah. Credit for originality," Becky said.

"It's not a trick," Cody said, zig-zagging his wrist, "Watch this. _Diffindo_!"

A jet of light green light shot out, striking a table nearby and it severed completely, neatly in two.

Paige screamed and covered her mouth.

Becky was open-mouthed and rooted to her chair.

What the hell had they just seen?

Both girls pinched themselves. It hurt a lot.

"I did not just see that. Tell me I didn't.." Paige murmured.

"And it's not just Coddles, I can do it too." Sami said. He tapped one of the falafel balls on his plate, " _Engorgio_!"

The falafel ballooned to several times its orignal size and now resembled a golden-brown, spice-scented beach ball.

Both girls screamed again.

Thank God Catering was empty.

"Get out.." breathed Becky.

"This is AMAZING," gushed Paige.

"Close your eyes ladies," Cody said, "Hands out."

He fumbled in his bag and handed the wands he'd bought for them to each of them - Paige, Bellatrix Lestrange's, and Becky, Luna Lovegood's.

"Open them," he grinned.

"You bought us one? Oh wow...aren't they expensive?" Becky asked.

"Yep. But we decided that once we realised magic is real, it was unfair to leave the rest of the squad out," Cody grinned, "Sami's idea for Bellatrix, Paige."

"Good job she's my fave really," Paige was examining hers, "Now, let's see..."

"Saraya, I hereby say that I take back any mean thing I ever said about you and Summer," Sami blurted out as Cody and Becky started giggling, realising now what she had in mind.

"Too late. _Wingardium Leviosa_!" Paige swished and flicked her wrist, pointing the wand at the huge falafel ball and slowly levitated it up and above Sami's head, Becky already filming this on her phone. This whole setup was so ludicrously funny...the fact that it was Sami...and the fact he now had an oversized fried chickpea rissole hovering above his head without any visible support.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry.." Sami pleaded, "Please don't explode it..I'll be your best friend forever Saraya!"

"What's it worth Samuel?" giggled Paige, keeping her aim and making the falafel ball circle his head like a flying saucer.

"Anything!"

Becky pointed her wand at him, mischief on her mind.

"Dare you.." Cody whispered conspiratorially.

"Oh I will. Just to see his face," she snickered.

Sami was still keeping eyes fixed on the comically large piece of street food hovering above...looking more and more precarious by the second.

" _Reducto_!" Becky intoned and the falafel exploded over Sami's head, showering his head and upper body in crumbs.

He was the picture of embarassment as the other three collapsed with mirth. Why him?

Becky high-fived Paige.

"That, was karma," Cody was holding his stomach he was laughing so hard, "We warned you about shading Paige all the time."

"I'd rather her mom put me on blast," pouted Sami, "Look at me! How can I wrestle like this?!"

"Not our problem Samuel," giggled Paige.

Cody took pity.

He made an S shape with his wand.

" _Scourgify_ ," he said.

Soap suds appeared out of nowhere and poor Sami was washed clean of greasy crumbs.

" _Tergeo_!" Cody added to siphon off the debris and vanished it.

"Thanks babe, knew you'd take pity," Sami pouted.

"This is officially the best day at work ever," Paige sighed, "I'm actually a witch."

"Also, this means if Miz or his idiot wife harass us..." Becky grinned.

"We hadn't thought about that...of course," Cody said, "Oh I hope he comes and tries to talk his shit now."

"He'd rat us out to TMZ," Sami said.

"As IF they'd believe that half the WWE roster are practicing warlocks and witches!" snorted Paige, "I know that site makes crap up but really?"

"If there's people who believe Elvis is still alive.." Cody said.

"True," Paige conceded.

A loud CRACK split the air, startling them all.

"Afternoon!" came an Irish trill and Finn Balor stood proudly next to their table.

"Fergal?!" squealed Becky, "Where did you come from?!"

"Was here all the time," Finn said, "What's with the big white faces?"

"We know, Fergal," Becky said, "Look. We have wands too now. What the hell was that noise?"

"I just Apparated!" Finn said proudly, "Been practicing ALL weekend. Nailed it. Look. All of me is here! Saves on the flight costs and jet lag!"

"Finny we agreed.." groaned Cody.

"I know but I was bored and re-read Half Blood Prince," Finn replied, perching at the end of the table, "So thought I'd give it a wee go. What do you think, Bex? isn't magic fun?"

"You missed a classic," she said, "Ray got her revenge on Sami."

"She's mean but I guess I deserved it," Sami pouted, "I engorged a falafel and she levitated it above my head."

"I'm guilty too," chimed in Becky, "I exploded it over him."

"We have video evidence Finny," Cody smiled, "Water? Freshly conjured."

"Thanks," Finn said, "I don't have a glass though."

"We can sort that, got anything in your pocket you don't mind losing?" asked Becky.

"I know what she's gonna do," Sami said, "Have one of my tomatoes."

He handed her one of the cherry tomatoes from his plate.

She tapped it 3 times.

" _Veraverto_!" she said, remembering the scene from the Chamber Of Secrets film.

A small shower of green sparks surrounded the tomato but it stayed resolutely small, round and red.

"Not an animal," Cody had the appropiate page on Harry Potter Wikia on his phone, "Try a chicken wing. It was an animal once."

He handed it to Becky who tapped it once more.

" _Veraverto_!" she said again. This time a clear mist engulfed the barbecue chicken wing and it slowly took the shape of an ornate small goblet.

"Thanks Bex," Finn said, before pulling out his wand, " _Aguamenti_."

Water poured into it.

"What's wrong with mine?" pouted Cody.

"I have a plan," Finn grinned, "Hold the jokes please Sami...ahem. _Eye of rabbit, harp string hum, turn this water into rum_."

He tapped the water jug.

"His fave was Seamus FINNigan. How utterly unsurprising," Paige snarked.

But as all four observed, the water in the glass darkened to yellow, then pale gold, then to rich brown.

"No explosions. Fergal, I'm disappointed," teased Becky.

Finn downed his water before pouring a small amount of the apparent rum into his goblet. He sniffed it.

"Whew..." he reeled back, "Yep that's rum alright."

"If we attempt to neck all that we'll be in turbo Brie mode by about 6 o'clock!" Paige retorted, "We have to get rid of that."

"Shame," Cody pouted before taking the jug of rum and getting to his feet. He poured it into a trash can, "Oh hey Karl."

Karl Anderson had walked in, followed by Luke Gallows.

"You been drinking?" asked Luke, smelling the alcohol in the air.

"Er...not quite," Cody said, "Just getting rid of this."

"You seen Ferg?" asked Karl, "He's not answering my calls."

"He's here," Cody grinned, "He showed up just now."

"He never told me!" scowled Karl.

"Don't get heated brother," teased Luke, "C'mon man...he's been miserable as hell all day. Must be love."

"Shut up Gallows!" snapped Karl as Cody sniggered.

"He's over there," Cody said, "We didn't know he was coming either. Go see him."

"You hiding something?" Luke asked Cody.

"No," Cody said airily.

"Something's weird about you," Luke said, "Balor. Is he seeing someone behind Karl's back?"

"No!" Cody snapped, "We just didn't expect him to be on Raw. Honestly. As far we know, Finny is happy with Karl."

Luke didn't look convinced but he walked away anyway. As soon as his back was turned, Cody performed the Aguamenti spell again to refill the jug with water. He padded back over to the table.

"OK, what's going on? Rhodes. They're talking about having wands and shit," Karl was looking mildly pissed off, "Please help a brother out."

"Do you trust Finny?" asked Cody with a cute smile.

"Karl. Would I lie to you? You're my boyfriend," pouted Finn, "Honestly. Sat here at this very table are two witches and three wizards."

"What has he taken?" Karl spat.

"Show him Fergal," Sami sighed.

"You mustn't tell ANYONE. Not Luke and certainly not AJ," Finn said, "Promise."

"OK...I promise," grunted Karl, wondering what the fuck they were trying to pull. Was this some kind of locker room stunt? To reel in newbies? They looked so ridiclous with their toy wands.

" _Scribbliors_!" Finn made an elaborate shape with his wand and with a purple flash of light, Cody's plate of half-eaten chicken wings and salad turned into a peacock-feather quill.

Karl almost fell over the table behind him in horror. WHAT THE FUCK?!

He rubbed his eyes.

He pinched his arm.

No he was not dreaming.

"Thanks Finny, I was hungry," complained Cody.

"What the fuck is this?" Karl spluttered, backing away, "I did not just see that."

"Karl..darlin, it's real. And it's brilliant," Finn said, "And I didn't fly to Omaha. I was in Orlando about half an hour ago. I can Apparate."

"Show me," Karl said.

"OK," Finn shrugged, getting to his feet. He posed in his infamous 'Finn Freeze' pose before shutting his eyes.

A loud CRACK split the air and he vanished.

"What the HELL...where's he gone?!" Karl really had no idea what to believe.

CRACK.

Finn re-appeared on a table at the far end of the room. He waved at them all.

Another sharp CRACK.

And he was once more stood by Karl who looked rather spooked.

" _Avis_ ," Sami added, drawing the shape of a flying bird in the air, and then with a loud bang like a gunshot that made them all jump, a small flock of canaries materialised in a puff of smoke, chirping cheerily.

Karl's eyes widened.

"Awwwwww!" Paige cooed, holding out her arm for the little birds to land on.

"Sit," Finn said eagerly to Karl, standing up, "Allow us to fill you in. Not keeping this from you."

"I...this is too fucking weird man," groaned the bearded man, sinking into Finn;'s seat before the small Irishman perched on his lap.

"We literally found out in the parking lot," explained Cody, "And then, well...the endless possibilities of backstage ribs proved too exciting to hide."

The conjured canaries were now circling the table, still cheeping happily.

"Sami, they're adorable but starting to get on my nerves," Becky sighed.

"Mine too," Cody admitted, "Shall I stun them?"

"Hey! Leave my birds alone!" Sami pouted, "Don't make me set them on you!"

"You love me, you wouldn't. RAZZZZZZZZP!" Cody blew a raspberry at him just as Eden Stiles walked over.

"Oh God...timing wonderful as always," she remarked, "Afternoon ladies. Judging by those birds...I take it nobody here's bought some new road pets."

"Nope," Cody said, "You missed so much fun Brandi. Paige owned Sami hehehe."

"I knew it..." giggled Eden, "Oh hey Karl."

Karl nodded at her.

"This is some weird shit," he said, "I take it you've seen it."

"Seen it? I have a wand as well, even though my husband spent FAR too much money at Universal Studios," Eden said.

"She literally has used magic only on her shoe collection," Cody said, "Oh and the Diffindo spell on her dress to make it shorter."

"Well, why not, I am a style blogger," Eden said, pulling a wand out from inside her dress, "Oh by the way. _Accio_ fudge!"

Within a couple of minutes, a plastic lunch box of home made fudge clattered onto the table.

"Is this the stuff you were blogging about?" asked Becky, opening it and diving in.

"Yep," Eden said.

"She is too good at summoning spells," Cody said, "Ugh. Kermit and the French Rat at three o'clock."

He'd spotted Miz and Maryse wander in, dark shades on and dressed in their OTT costumes already, acting like celebrities who were pretending to avoid the paparazzi.

"I can't believe you're actually talking about it," Karl sighed, "This is some surreal shit."

"It's real darlin," Finn said, "Trust me. Just means the road will be that much more fun. Oh man, you don't know how badly I want to hex Miz and his bitch-arse wife right now."

"Don't give the game away," Cody hissed, "Sami, get rid of the canaries!"

"Like anyone would believe it?" Eden said.

"We had this discussion," Paige added, "Still. Be funny to watch them make arses of themselves."

"Or we could just Stun them?" Sami added, "Same with Rat Skank. Give us all peace. _Evanesco!_ "

The birds all vanished.

Miz was pulling out his phone whilst Maryse surveyed the food table.

Cody got to his feet, unable to resist.

" _Expelliarmus_!" he cried and a jet of red light blasted from his wind, knocking Miz's phone right out of his hand and sent it clattering a few feet behind him to the floor.

As Miz bent over to retrieve it, Cody cleared his throat once more.

" _Diffindo_!" he barked, and with military precision, Miz's gold ring jacket split down the middle at the back along with his trunks.

"Mike! Your trunks and your jacket just split!" squealed Maryse in horror.

The Amigos table was fighting to contain their mirth.

" _Accio_ Miz trunks!" Cody said.

The split trunks rolled down Miz's thick thighs completely of their own accord, continuing down his calves and ankles until they came away around his feet, knocking him backwards, before flying towards Cody.

" _Reducto_!" Finn was in there like a shot and fired the curse at the garment; the trunks instantly dissolved to spandex crumbs.

Maryse had witnessed the whole thing and was sure she'd just dreamed this. No way did her husband's trunks leave his body by themselves and then explode in mid air like that!

"What the fuck?" Miz cried, covering his modesty (like the slut he was, he wasn't wearing anything under the trunks)

"Zey flew off!" Maryse spluttered .

"Don't be ridiculous!" Miz snapped, "Help me find them Ryse, please! I don't have another pair with me!"

Sheamus and Cesaro had walked by at that moment, just as Miz bent down to look under the food table...exposing his naked ass.

"Ugh...why?!" complained Sheamus.

"I think ve'll come back later," Cesaro said.

"CLAUDIO." Miz heard the accent, and he was on his feet in a trice. He faced his ex defiantly, "You were behind this, putting some thread in my trunks and undressing me!"

"Why? Why vuld I vaste my time?" snorted Cesaro, "You're just being your usual slutty self. C'mon Stephen, I'm hungry."

" _Zut alors. Tu est secousse_ ," Maryse snapped, before ushering the embarrassed Miz out of Catering.

"What the hell was that about?" asked Sheamus.

"I don't know...but anything that involves Miz being humiliated is fine by me," Cesaro said, grabbing a plate.

* * *

A while later, Maryse came rushing back for Miz's dropped phone and she then spotted the table of Amigos plus Karl Anderson. She stormed over, knowing that somehow they were behind the trunks stunt from earlier.

"By your beds, here's the fame hungry bitch," Finn deadpanned.

"Who did it?" shrieked Maryse, "Who rigged up my 'usband's trunks?"

"Nobody. He's always dropping them around men," Paige snarked.

"Why change the habit of a lifetime?" Sami chimed in.

"YOU," Maryse rounded on Finn, "I bet it vos you."

"Actually, I did it," Cody said, "I ain't sorry. Middle finger up, tell him boy bye."

He flipped her the bird to make his point further.

Maryse could only sputter with anger.

"You can replace zem. Handmade by a personal seamstress," she spat, "'E is gonna have to get common ones made HERE thanks to you and your stupid invisible thread trick."

"Boo hoo my heart bleeds," Cody sassed.

Maryse just snarled a string of indiscernible French before storming off.

" _Impedimenta_!" Finn barked.

The blonde girl was knocked off her feet with a squeal like a stuck pig.

"Fergal, behave," Becky said sternly.

"I could have been so much worse," he said as Karl side-eyed him.

"By the way, while we're all here," Cody said, "Gentleman's and ladies' agreement. No Unforgivables...however TEMPTING they might be."

"I never even considered it," Sami said, "I value my job too much. Oh by the way, may I tell Kevin? His son would LOVE that his Dad works with real witches and wizards."

"You may Sami," Finn said.

"As long as Kevin vows to keep it to himself," Cody said.

"Please babe? I'll make it up to you?" Sami pleaded.

"You'll wear that new jock I bought?" Cody replied with a grin.

"Of course," Sami replied, "Yay! I'm gonna go find Kevin now!"

As he bounded happily out to find his on-screen bitter rival and long-time friend Kevin Owens, Maryse, still annoyed for slipping over, stuck out her leg and tripped him up. He stumbled and fell, his wand falling out of his tights.

Maryse howled with derision. Sad, pathetic geek losers. Toy wands indeed! Wrestlers...with toy wands? Sometimes the lame-asses that worked here never failed to amuse her.

Sami picked himself up.

Maryse snatched up his wand with a sneer.

"Put it down," Sami ordered.

"What? Zis?" she snorted, "Piece of wood. You're a grown-ass man. Toy wands. Pathetic. Vintage nerd."

She went to snap it in two.

"Put it down and disappear," Sami continued.

Maryse was sniggering as she bent the wood, watching it flex and awaiting the snap.

" _Expelliarmus_!" Becky aimed a Disarmer at the blonde. Well, this spell shared a name with her finishing move.

The wand flew out Maryse's hands.

"Clumsy bitch aren't we?" Sami went to retrieve it.

"Sad. Pathetic. LOSER!" Maryse was openly laughing in his face, "I can't believe zese are ze kind of people WWE hires."

"Go join your fatass husband," Sami said and he pointed his wand at the laughing woman.

"What you gonna do, turn me into a frog?" she challenged.

Finn was climbing off Karl's lap and tiptoeing to the food table. He picked up a bowl of tortilla chips and deftly shuffled towards Maryse, placing it on the floor a few feet behind her.

"I dunno," Sami said, "Perhaps if your airheaded ass opened her mind to something besides Hollywood and Kar-trashian culture you might learn something."

" _Oppugno_!" Finn barked, and like a swarm of yellow locusts, the tortilla chips all left their bowl and flew at Maryse like small daggers. She shrieked like a banshee as the snacks continued to attack her. What was happening? What had they rigged up? What was going on?!

Not only that, they were ranch-flavoured! The worst-smelling kind! Seasoning was going all over her expensive designer costume! She was batting them off but the chips seemed to be alive, attacking her like a scene from Hitchcock's Birds.

" _Finite Incantatem_!" Sami said and the chips fell to the floor.

Maryse dusted the seasoning and crumbs from herself. She had just witnessed witchcraft. She wasn't deaf or stupid. She hadn't prepared to believe what she had seen but this was definitely real.

"I will HAVE you all FIRED!" she snarled, "Zis is not normal! You're all FREAKS!"

"You expect mainstream media to believe you?" snorted Finn.

"You'll be nutted off to the funny farm in minutes," Sami added.

Maryse was backing away, half-furious, half-terrified. She had read the Harry Potter books, yes.

"Shall we show some mercy Fergal?" asked Sami.

"Why not?" Finn agreed, " _Obliviate_!"

Maryse looked even more frightened but soon a lightly vacant look fell on her pretty face as the memory of what she had just seen was vanquished. Finn moved his wand.

"Toy wands? Losers." She snorted and stomped away.

"I must find Kevin," Sami said, "That. Was awesome. Good thinking Fergal. Just think how much we could mess with her and Miz now...hehehe"

He left the room as FInn's naughty mind started to plot schemes involving magic and Mizaryse.

* * *

 **Omaha, NE**

In the hotel lobby after breakfast the next day, the Three Amigos (Cody, Sami and Finn) all met up once they'd checked out and ushered Eden and Karl Anderson outside.

"Where are the Firebolts?" asked Finn in a low whisper.

"In the trunk of the rental," Cody replied, "Couldn't fit them in my bag."

"I can't believe that they're real broomsticks," Sami said, "The wands are weird enough. I suppose we'll be able to brew up potions next."

"I doubt it," snorted Cody, "Imagine if the Firebolts did actually fly though...how much would we save on air travel?"

"Learn Apparition!" Finn suggested.

"Too much of a risk," Sami said, "Anyhoo, let's go before Eden calls you, babe."

"And Karl will get mad," Finn said.

"You like it when he goes all GRR on your ass anyway," Cody teased.

"Yes but that was this morning. Too full of food now hehehe," giggled Finn, "Hmmm..."

"What you thinking, trouble?" asked Sami.

"THis lobby is drab as fuck," Finn said, "How about brightening up the check-in desk... _Orchideous_!"

A stream of shamrocks left his wand, trailing all over the desk and bursting into small yellow flowers as they did so. The girl behind it was so engaged on the phone she hadn't noticed this conspicuous new addition to her surroundings.

"Apparently wands rely on national stereotypes of the conjurer," Sami snarked, "Open your mind a bit Fergal."

"Nah. Good enough for me,"Finn said, "There, looks much prettier now."

"Let me try," Sami said, before pointing his wand at the local attractions board, "Orchideous!"

A bunch of vividly indigo Blue Flag Irises burst from his wands and he traced them around the edges of it.

"Symbol of Quebec," he said.

"We better go before this hotel gets turned into a hippie commune," Cody said, "FINNY. No hexing CM Punk fans!"

A young man in a Paul Heyman Guy tee was leaving the elevator with headphones in and Finn was slyly aiming his wand.

"But come on, just a wee jinx?" he said, "He's a smark which you hate."

"Brandi and Karl are waiting," Cody replied.

"Fine," Finn huffed, and followed Cody and Sami out onto the street and around the corner to the hotel's car park.

* * *

"You took your time!" Eden complained as the boys approached, "How long does check-out take?"

"We were improving that bland lobby," Finn replied, nuzzling into Karl shamelessly.

"How?" asked Eden.

"Flower conjuring," Cody said, "I'm innocent by the way."

"So can we get to the next city for tapings?" Eden demanded.

Cody unlocked the boot of the rental car with Alohomora. Eden rolled her eyes. Like a kid with a brand new toy. She'd had her fun with hers over the weekend and yesterday. It was wearing off a little already for her. Obviously the boys were now hell bent on getting the most of their new toys.

Karl was wishing he'd said no to Finn and continued to ride to Smackdown with Luke and AJ. This magic stuff was still hard to take in, but hey, it made Finn happy and it was cute seeing him so full of the joys of spring.

"CODY!" bellowed Eden, hands on hips, looking far more like Cody's mother than his wife.

"Yes, those would be replica Firebolts, yes," Cody said.

"How much?! Three brooms? Isn't 1 enough?" Eden spluttered.

"I wanted to see if they...worked?" Cody mumbled.

"And what if they don't? It's 2016, we use hoovers to clean floors not brooms!" Eden cried.

"And if they do..." Cody said, "Then we're flying to Smackdown!"

"What about me? What about Karl?" Eden cried.

"You can turn the rental into a portkey and beat us there?" Cody said.

"Go on Karl, embrace the magic darlin," Finn sucked his thumb and gave Karl big puppy-dog eyes.

"If this breaks any of my limbs..." Karl growled.

"Don't be such a fraedy-cat," Sami piped up.

"Ok boys, are we ready to test our brooms?" Cody said, "Remember the first book...hold your hand over it and say Up!"

"Up!" Sami barked.

The replica broom prop was motionless.

"Up!" Sami tried again.

With a whoosh, it shot into his outstretched hand.

"Whoa..." Karl breathed. Now that was impressive shit.

"They're real..." Cody was wide-eyed and excited, "UP!"

His broom too, shot up into his hand.

"Up!" Finn commanded.

Whoosh.

He too, was now holding a Firebolt replica that seemed to be a real, working broomstick.

"Who's gonna go first, boys?" asked Sami.

"Coddles," Finn said.

"Yep, I agree with Fergal," Sami grinned.

"Fine...OK..." Cody nervously mounted the broom, feeling a bit silly. He kicked off from the ground...and then...suddenly..before he knew it, he was floating above the city of Omaha, having shot up to the skies at breakneck speed.

Oh God.

Talk about visceral.

He couldn't describe how this felt. No protection. Air rushing through his hair, in and out of his ears. All he had keeping him from certain death was a length of wood.

Fucking scary might have been in the ballpark. And he'd been in a double submission by Shawn Michaels and Triple H.

Even performing a steel cage moonsault paled in comparison to this.

He leaned forward and aimed in the direction he'd come.

What. A. Feeling.

THe ground was approaching..the wind rushing through his hair...he pulled it up just as the others came into view.

"OK I might have to get myself one of those," Karl remarked.

"He is buying me one," Eden said as Cody landed.

"What did it feel like?" asked Sami excitedly.

"Fucking scary, think of the scariest bump you've ever taken and times it by a million," Cody said, "But fucking amazing at the same time! Can't explain it, just give it a go."

WHOOSH.

WHOOSH.

Both Finn and Sami had kicked off at the same time. Instantly they were black specks high above the roofs of the buildings in the street.

"If one of them pukes it had better not land on me!" Karl snarked.

"Ew," Eden made a face.

The black specks began to increase in size as the other boys returned to the ground. When Finn and Sami finally touched down, they were both grinning from ear to ear.

"That was the best in the world.." Sami said, "We are so going to EVERY show this way."

"I'm flying back to Orlando on this thing," Finn gushed, "No fuel to run out of."

"What about planes?" asked Karl.

"We'll be too low for them," Sami said.

"So how are we getting to Smackdown?" asked Karl to Eden, "Driving seems kinda boring."

"Trust me," Eden said, pointing to the rental car with her wand, " _Portus_."

The car flickered briefly.

"When I say go, hold on tight to the trunk lid or a door handle," she said, "Cody taught me this."

"OK..." Karl looked freaked out but nodded.

"Be careful Cody," Eden went to hug her husband.

"Oh we will," Cody assured her.

"YOU...I am putting the faith of God into you to watch my husband," Eden hugged Sami tight as well.

"Don't worry, we'll be safe. See you soon," he said.

"Ferg. For fuck's sake,...oh man this is some trippy shit...FLY safe. Literally." Karl was embracing Finn tight.

"I will darlin, just go with Eden. She'll look after your magical virginity loss," grinned Finn, kissing his beau.

"OK," Eden said, "You holding on?"

"Uh-huh." Karl looked green.

"OK...any minute now..."

She let out a scream and Karl let out a terrified cry as they spun away into thin air as the Portkey activated.

"I love magic, and I love JK Rowling for making this," Cody sighed, "What a life..."

"I know right, and we're only getting started," Sami said, "OK boys, we all mounted?"

"Yeah, and for once its not on dicks," Finn chimed in.

"Shut up Fergal," Sami rolled his eyes, "OK, count of 3 and lift off?"

"SUre," Cody and Finn replied.

"I'm counting as I did it first," Cody added, "1. 2. 3."

With a cacophony of whoops and cheers of delight, the Three Amigos took off into the sunny Nebraska air like three bullets being fired from a gun, ready to hit the next stop on the road and embrace the changes in their lives for the better.

* * *

 **Well this is it! Not so much a plot-driven as just a load of silly fun and some wrestling references. I had such fun writing this fic. It was mainly an Amigos-based fic (as you'd expect if you follow my work or my Tumblr) but I had a small Sheasaro cameo and obviously Paige and Becky, the core female amigos to add some spice.**

 **I hope you enjoyed this silly spin-off and first attempt at a cross-over (albeit a meta one to some degree as they visit HP world not Hogwarts!) as much as I had writing it.**

 **If you'd like me to continue magical hi-jinks as a companion 'AU' series to Total Superstars, let me know in the reviews as I reckon there is more mileage in this but for now it's a one-shot! x**


End file.
